A nursery is nice, but what about planning for breastfeeding?
Quick question for my pregnant folks. How much energy have you put into designing your baby's nursery? I'm guessing that you started planning pretty early in your pregnancy and you have the colors and style locked down. Am I right?
No shade. I love designing spaces in my home, and when I was pregnant with my boys we created super cozy nurseries for them.
Here's the thing. How much time do you think your little one will spend there in the first few months? If you’re like most parents with newborns, your baby will be staying close to you in your room, either in your bed or in a bassinet. Even if that is not what you are planning for. 😉
I propose that we are putting waaaayyyy too much focus on planning this room that probably won't get used, at least for while, and very little time learning about and planning for breastfeeding. Let's change that, shall we?
You may be thinking, “But isn’t breastfeeding supposed to be natural? Won’t I just figure it out after the baby is born?” OK, I hear you. Breastfeeding is natural. But it’s natural the way that learning how to walk is natural, which means it takes WORK and PRACTICE.
Most new parents plan to exclusively breastfeed, but many of them stop a lot earlier than they wanted to. Why is that? Despite our tendency to blame “the mother” for just about everything, it’s not their fault. It’s a huge and multi-faceted problem (see “The Big Letdown” by Kimberly Seals Allers for a deep dive) involving aggressive marketing by formula companies, a health care system that does not prioritize maternal and infant health, and inequities in who is able to access breastfeeding support.
So, faced with a system-wide problem that creates roadblocks instead of guide rails, what should new parents do in order to reach their feeding goals? The answer is to take back some control and start planning during pregnancy. Get yourself off to a confident start so that when your baby is born, you have some idea of what you are doing and where to find help.
When you put some effort in ahead of time, you can approach breastfeeding with more confidence and clarity.
I created a simple and clear guide that walks you through the 5 steps that I think all pregnant folks should take in order to set themselves up for a more satisfying and intentional breastfeeding experience.
Learning the basics of breastfeeding. Understand how your body makes milk, how to feed without pain (yup, this is an achievable goal!), and what to do when things go sideways.
Getting super clear on why the heck you even care about breastfeeding your baby. For most people, it’s about more than antibodies.
Dialing in your support. Who are the people that will build you up and keep you going when it gets hard?
Communicating with your partner and other primary support people. Help them understand your feelings and fears about breastfeeding and how they can be real teammates in feeding your baby.
Learning the incredibly useful (and not talked about enough) skill of hand expression. Yes, for most people, it is totally safe in the last few weeks of pregnancy.
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Doing this work during pregnancy will give you so much more confidence in yourself, your support people and your baby. Instead of carrying a lot of fear into your breastfeeding experience, you can approach it with excitement.
After all, the nursery can wait.
